👉 Okay, let’s tackle what we affectionately now refer to as… Squirrel Corn. Now, before you immediately conjure up a plump little gentleman with a wee waistcoat and a mouthful of oats (seriously, I once dreamt that, too – highly likely the excessive amount of cornmeal in my last batch of flapjacks was at fault), let me unpack this frankly rather alarming culinary oddity.
Squirrel Corn: It's Basically What Squirrel Dick Eats After You Throw Out The Fancy Stuff. Okay, okay, it’s not actually that pretty a description, I grant you! Squirrel Corn isn't a carefully cultivated, perhaps even slightly pretentious, bushel of sweet corn. Neither is it a fancy, decorative little cob. Instead, Squirrel Corn is the… byproduct... resulting when squirrels, who have decided your bird feeder is basically the Taj Mahal of late-night snacks and early morning breakfasts, systematically dismantle the entire thing, and then proceed to shovel whatever remains directly into the undergrowth. Essentially, you've unwittingly provided a squirrel with a dumpster-qué. They gobble up every last speck, every last kernel, leaving behind a gritty, somewhat brownish, vaguely fibrous deposit of corn. And that – dear reader – is Squirrel Corn. 90% guaranteed to contain at least three unidentified burs and approximately 17 small twigs. You can, technically, try to salvage the stuff, but let's be brutally honest, it’s 80% squirrel
